Tuesday Apr 30 11:28pm
Tuesday Apr 30 11:27pm
So yesterday I was in a car accident

And although it wasn’t bad, it got me thinking that night. I was talking to my family about it and I said to my mom “At least I’m not dead.”

Funny how a few months ago I was thinking “I wish I was dead.”

Wednesday May 9 08:44pm
Day 3 of Zoloft

Don’t know if it’s starting to work or if I’m just in between slumps. Guess we’ll just have to wait and see.

Sunday Apr 29 11:38pm
Please stop it. I know it makes me a hypocrit, but I don’t care. Please, you deserve so much better than this. Sunday Apr 22 08:40pm
Friday Apr 20 02:07pm
So fucking tired. Wednesday Apr 18 09:39pm
Someone told me my eyes look dead.

Apparently they have no “spark”.

I’ll have to work on that. I’ll find a way to fake it like I always do.

Wednesday Apr 18 08:37pm

This song that used to make me feel better no matter what, no longer has that effect. The song could make me stop crying even if I was in the middle of hysterics. This song gave me hope when I was in my darkest place.

Now when I listen to it does the opposite. It makes me choke on my breath and tears fall down my face. It gives me no hope, it means nothing now.

I think I know why. Before, when the song would come on, I was trying to get better. I knew the state I was in was bad and I needed help. But now, I have no desire to get better. I’m drowning and I’m perfectly content. No longer trying to swim.

Wednesday Apr 18 06:59pm
"Her eyes just look..weak."

It’s like those words have been engraved in my head. I can’t stop hearing them. And when I close my eyes they’re lit up on the insides of my eyelids.

Wednesday Apr 18 11:42am
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